Pets

So I'm thinking about getting a pet. I had a cat growing up and I loved it. However, I think I also took it for granted, especially as I got older. In adulthood, I never thought about having a pet. Once I was married, my ex-husband did not want any animals, which I didn't mind. But now my kids are wanting to get a pet and I was wondering which one to get. I figured I'd throw my thoughts onto this screen, just for fun, and hopefully writing them down will help me decide.

Cats: My first instinct is to get a cat because that's what I had growing up. I love the independence of cats, how they have their own lives consisting of eating and sleeping, but they still find time to walk around the house and be cute. Cats are very clean. Cats don't attack people (unless you have one of those crazy ones!). Cats use a litterbox There are a few problems with cats though. They can be annoying when you can't find them as they sleep in a hiding place. They can scratch up the furniture. But other than that, there is not a whole lot of bad things about cats that I can think of.

Dogs: My girls want a dog. They actually just want an animal, any animal, but they seem to want a dog most of all. The problem is that there are so many kinds of dogs! With cats, there are just black cats, white cats, orange cats, and fancy design cats (the swirly kind). I had a black cat growing up named Dorothy. Back to dogs. Dogs have so many species. When you say "I want a dog," people ask "what kind?" I honestly don't know. There are those golden retrievers which seem like good dogs. There are the chihuahuas which seem annoying. There are dobermans which seem scary. So many kinds. For a dog, I think I need to do research. But actually having a dog is another thing too. For one they don't use a litterbox, so you have to train them to go outside (I don't know how to train animals, but its not too hard). They bark very loudly and get excited easy. Some dogs bite. Lots of people are nervous around dogs. So there are a lot of negatives. However, dogs seem to be very fun if you like them. They like to play and be around people. This is very intriguing.

Fish: Fish are fish. They sit in a bowl looking interesting. I see them as decorations rather than pets. But they are easy to take care of. I can teach my kids responsibility by having them feed fish as a chore (of course taking care of any pet can be their chore, fish just seem like something they can handle). I'd probably have to get small fish because I think that large fish require large aquariums which can be expensive. I think it would be neat to have a shark, but not very practical.

Birds: You have to keep birds in cages, making them like fish. But unlike fish, birds have more of a personality. Birds chirp or squawk (depending on which kind you have!) at things. They recognize you. You can take them out of their cages and hold them. So birds seem like pets that are adorable and easy at the same time. Parrots would be fun to have, as long as you teach it nice things to say (I was at someone's house one time, and their teenage kids had taught their parrot to say "hey stupid"- funny coming from a bird but not very appropriate). The small birds seem like they'd be pretty to have in the house, as they chirp and aren't very imposing. Hard to say, but it seems easier to pick out a bird than a dog!

Mice/rats/gerbils/hamsters: I put these in the same category because, to me, they are the same thing- rodents. Now, I've seen cute mice, the little white ones. I wouldn't mind having those, as long as they stayed in the cage. Rats, as I understand, are bigger. These seem easier to keep track of but are not as cute. Gerbils are tiny hamsters. Hamsters are like mice, only less "evil" as I'll put it, because mice tend to be exterminated while hamsters tend to die on accident. Hamsters are seen as friendlier. I actually am considering either a hamster or gerbil for my kids, since it can stay in their room and will not cause too much stress to anyone. Plus, they are easy to feed. The only setback is cleaning the cage (what do you do with it while you are cleaning the cage?)

Snake: I am not a big fan of snakes. Satan takes the form of snakes. I say this jokingly, but I can see why Satan does! Snakes are slimy, slithery, poisonous (some of them), and overall creepy. That's the one pet I do not want. Lots of people like snakes and that's good for them. I for one am not a big fan of snakes.

Those are the pets in my head at the moment. If I think of any other pets, I'll edit them in. If you have any advice, e-mail me!

Spanking (Specifics)

This is a response to an e-mail I received from someone who read my article on discipline. They wrote "Betty, I found your article on discipline very interesting. I too believe in spanking. I am a new parent, with a 1 year old child. I was wondering about your experiences using spanking, as I will use it myself in the future. Do you mind sharing? I would be happy if you were willing to share specific times when you have used spanking." Well, I don't mind sharing at all. That's why I included my e-mail, so people can contact me if they have any questions. Thank you for writing. That person included a list of questions about spanking.

"Are your children ever defiant when they are told they are going to get a spanking?": Yes, sometimes they are defiant. My children, like all children, hate getting spanked, so when I tell them they are to receive one, they are never happy. On average, I usually tell them they are getting a spanking, they cry and whine about how they don't want one, then they usually follow me to the spot and comply. Parents have to learn to deal with this, as it can be emotionally difficult to spank your child when you know they do not like it at all. But there are times when they resist. Recently my daughter Sasha disobeyed me and I told her she was going to get a spanking. She immediately screamed at me "NO!" and ran off. I followed her as she ran out the door. This is a scenario I fear, but really it was just my daughter being hysterical rather than my daughter actually running away. I walked out and stood by the door. She stopped running and turned to me. I calmly asked "Are you going to come inside, Sasha? I am not going to go chasing after you." She apologized to me, but did not budge. Neither did I. Finally, a neighbor broke up the "stand off" as she walked by, asking what was wrong. I told her that Sasha was going to get a spanking for disobeying me and she was avoiding me. My neighbor, who happened to be pro-spanking as well, told Sasha "Its best if you just go inside and get it over with." Good thing she was there, as I was not happy about having to go through this whole dramatic scene. Somehow she got through to Sasha and Sasha walked over to me. I brought her inside, to her to the couch, and quickly bent her over my knee. I gave my little lecture once she was in position over my lap because I was worried she would try running off again. She was crying the whole time, but actually was much calmer. I gave her the spanking, then told her not to run off like that again or she would get a much worse spanking. On the other spectrum, I've had times when my kids completely comply. I remember one time Paige earned a spanking and I told her so, and she walked right over to me. I was already sitting down, and instead of waiting for my lecture she laid across my lap waiting for the spanking. I was a bit shocked, but gave a quick lecture anyway.

"How do you children react during the spanking?":  Well, for just using my hand I can produce a lot of pain. Typically after each spank, as I make contact with their bottom, they flinch or try to jump or. Usually they are very wiggly during the spanking, which is the reason why I think that using that over the lap position is the safest way to spank. You'd think that my youngest would react the worse to the spankings, but actually Sasha is the most dramatic (as I gave an example earlier). She cries, even screams, kicks her legs, tries to move around, tries to cover her bottom with her hand. These are things you need to expect if you choose to use spanking. Its hard, sometimes discouraging, but you have to tell yourself you are doing it for their good and that you are shaping their behavior (which you are). 

"What do you think of spanking on the bare bottom?": I don't really spank that way. I don't do it mainly because it is not necessary. I am not opposed to it though. Once the spankings stop hurting as much, I may start pulling the pants down, although you have to be careful to respect their privacy. Now, I have spanked over their panties before, mainly when they wear skirts. With a skirt, it is difficult sometimes to see their bottom, especially with the fluffier skirts. So what I do is once they are over my knee I flip their skirt up and turn it against their shirt, then give the spanking as normal over their panties.

"Do you ever spank more than one child at the same time?": I assume you mean giving consecutive spankings if more than one of my children get in trouble for the same thing. In this case, yes. A couple months ago I had a babysitter over to take care of my kids while I was out for the evening. When I returned I found the house a mess and the babysitter almost in tears. She said that my girls weren't behaving, for whatever reason. I called my girls over and asked them why they were not behaving. They all were very guilty, none of them answering. The babysitter said that Sasha had gotten them all riled up and wild. So I said to the babysitter with my kids present "You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to give each of them a spanking then have them apologize to you." My kids were not happy overhearing this. I sat down on the couch and called them over. I asked my kids "Okay, who's first?" None of them answered so I asked the babysitter "Who was the worst behaved?" The babysitter said that Sasha had started it all so I called Sasha over. I asked the babysitter if she would be offended if I spanked my kids in front of her, because I wanted them to understand that they were getting spanked for disrespecting her, and having her present would send a stronger message. She said she didn't mind. So I had Sasha bend over my knee and gave her 10 hard spanks. I could tell the babysitter was a little uncomfortable seeing it, and Sasha was very uncomfortable getting it, but it seemed like the appropriate thing to do. I did the same with Paige and Michaela. After all three had been spanked I had them stand in front of the babysitter and apologize to her. That situation came to mind when you asked that question. But yes, there are lots of times when I have to spank two or all three of my kids. I simply go about it the same, only the other one is waiting for her turn. I think it is probably worse for the one going last because they have to anticipate, and seeing their sister crying as they get a spanking must be a little nerve-racking.

"Have you ever spanked your kids in public?": I have before, but more often when they were younger. I've done the quick one swat spank as they are standing, simply to stop them from their behavior. For example, when they are running around or being sassy in public and want them to shape up quickly without making a big deal out of it. But I don't recommend doing that, I am just saying that I have done that. I have given a couple over the knee spankings in public, most when they were younger. I remember sitting at a park bench spanking one of my daughters. I remember going into another room at a guests house and giving a spanking. The most recent one was a year ago. Sasha was being a brat at a clothing store when we were shopping. I kept warning her to calm down. She said something very sassy to me, I think it was something like "mom you're an idiot you can't pick out clothes!" I was embarrassed at my daughter's behavior, so I took her into the dressing room. She asked me what I was doing and I told her I was going to spank her and she was shocked, not expecting it. It wasn't totally in public because I went into one of the clothing stalls and closed the door. But everyone in the dressing room could hear. I sat on the little makeshift seats they have in there and told Sasha to "bend over" several times. I'm sure by then everyone knew what was happening, so the actual spanking probably didn't come as too much of a shock. I don't advise spanking in public. Usually I wait until I get home to give one, if they get in trouble in public. But every once in a while they need to know that mom is not ashamed to let everyone know that she spanks. 

"How do you put your child in position for the spanking? What if they resist?": This is referring to the over the knee position, I am assuming. I use it because it is safe, it is effective, it is memorable, and it creates an attitude of submission, one essential for proper discipline. Getting the child in position can be tricky at times, mainly if they do not want to be in that position (which no child wants to!). When your children are younger, it is fairly simple. You can pick them up and place them over your lap. Since they are so small in size, you can place them easily and hold them in place with just your arm. For older children, like my kids currently, it can seem like it would be difficult, but it is not very hard. Ideally, you want your child resting their pelvic region over your thigh closest to them, with their arms dangling on the opposite side. This causes the body to contort, with the bottom shaping and sticking out making a very easy target (it can be dangerous to slap other parts of the body, such as the back, and the legs tend to not be as effective). Plus, if your child kicks their legs at all, they will not be able to move themselves very much. Ideally, you want your child to bend over submissively into position without having to do anything. My kids tend to be obedient during a spanking. But if they are not (Sasha tends not to be at times, out of my 3 kids), then there are two options. One, you can threaten them with a worse spanking, usually in the form of more swats, if they don't comply. This works a lot of times. The other way is to force them over your knee. You have to be careful if you do the second way. You do not want to be violent, you need to remain calm at all times. With Sasha, I've used this method many times. First I grab her arm (usually I grab her left arm with my left hand) and pull her towards me. As her legs come into contact with my lap, the momentum causes her fall forward. As her stomach touches my lap I reach my left arm around her, beneath her right armpit, and hold her in place. Now she is in proper position and the spanking can begin.

"Do you ever spank other kids besides your own?": No, I don't. While I don't think it is wrong to, I, at the same time, feel it is the parent's job to. I have had my kids' friends over at our house many times. If they misbehave, I simply call their parents and they deal with them. But I suppose there would be nothing wrong with my spanking my friends' children, as long as they gave permission. But I feel they should be the ultimate authority figure, not me.

Well, I hope I answered all your questions. I know I went into a lot of detail because it sounded like that's what you wanted. My hopes is that anyone reading will know that although on the surface spanking may seem "cruel" or "barbaric," it is a good mother with good intentions trying to raise their child to be good adults giving the spanking. I don't enjoy spanking my kids and am not proud of it. But I am not scared to spank my kids and am not scared of it. 

Discipline

Discipline is a part of parenting. Whether you are a Christian or an atheist, you need to teach your children how to behave. Very few parents ignore discipline completely (if they did, I would not want to be in the same state as their children!). But the constant questions are "how do we discipline," "what do we discipline," and "why do we discipline?" 

These three questions can be found in the Bible. Proverbs clearly tells parents that discipline is essential in raising children. The famous saying "spare the rod, spoil the child" comes from the Proverb verses referring to "beating children with a rod" to "save their life." This is extreme, obviously, but it has truth in it. Parents sometimes need to be a little harsh and punish their children. It cannot be all positive discipline. Positive discipline has its part, but so does negative discipline. Proverbs teaches tons of things about responsible behavior, and makes it clear that irresponsible behavior has consequences (the consequences are usually vague, but clearly they are implied to be bad). It is the parent's responsibility to give consequences to their children so that they will learn how to behave. A child's behavior is different from an adult's behavior, but they a child's behavior will become an adult's behavior. We discipline so that our children will grow to be followers of rules. God has rules for us to follow as Christians, so its important we learn how to follow rules. Discipline also teaches that children need to respect their parents as authority figures. Parents know what is best, and children need to follow their parents rules and commands because it will help them. So that is why we discipline.

What do we discipline? Parents all have their own rules. Don't do this, don't do that. These are good rules. The simpler the rule, the easier it is for the child to follow. And it is important to have reasons for the rule. For example, I tell my kids that they need to obey me because the Bible says honor your parent. I tell them that they need to be nice to each other because the Bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. I don't have a list of rules, but I have general rules. I discipline for things like disobedience (I tell them to do something and they don't do it, or I tell them not to do something and they do it), disrespect (talking back, using bad words, being mean to each other), and sins like stealing, etc. I think parents should know what is good and bad and communicate this to their kids through their discipline.

How do we discipline? Parents each have their own methods. Most methods work, some more than others. And a lot of times it depends on the family. One type of punishment may work for one family and not for others. In my house, the consequence for misbehavior is a spanking. The reason I chose spanking is because I believe that Proverbs, when it refers to using the rod of discipline, implies that physical punishment is the most emphatic and effective form, and will deter behavior and teach obedience. Now, I chose not to use a rod for disciplining my children, but the concept is the same. I know parents who use rods like a wooden spoon, a paddle, a switch, or other things. I just use the good old hand to the bottom. A spanking in my house is not a simple swift swat to the bottom. I have a procedure for administering a spanking that makes it effective, safe, and memorable. When one of my children earn a spanking, I call them over to me and communicate that they have disobeyed me and are going to receive a spanking as a consequence. I then find a spot where I can sit down, such as a chair, a couch, or a bed. I have a quick talk about what they did wrong and why it was wrong. Then I have them bend over my lap, with their legs on one side, their head and arms on the other side, and their bottom in the middle of my lap forming the target. I administer the spanking with the palm of my hand, just hard swats to the bottom, the number of swats equalling their age. So when Sasha or Paige get spanked they receive 10 swats with my hand. This seems like a lot but it is over pretty quickly. After I spank them I let them up and I talk to them about the spanking and why it had to happen. I use this opportunity to let them know that I forgive them and that God forgives us for sinning. If they did something wrong to their sister, I have them apologize. This type of discipline has been very effective in my home. I'm old fashioned, I know. But there is nothing more effective than a good old fashioned over the knee spanking, I've found. I tried time-outs and taking toys away, which can work, but generally my kids respond better to spanking.

As for positive discipline, it is important as well. Positive discipline is simply rewarding good behavior (rather than punishing bad behavior). This can be very encouraging. If my kids do something unexpected and nice, I tell them I am proud of them. I think the mentality of love is nurtured rather than natural. So if we show our kids we love them and we let them know they need to love other people, when they do, we need to say "I am proud of you for doing that." This will tell them that they did something good and gained favor for it. Gaining favor is underrated. Everyone likes it when people like them or like what they did. I'm not saying as parents we should go out of our way to make a big deal out of every good deed. But we need to let our children know when they do a good deed to encourage them to do more and copy the behavior. But we cannot forget to punish bad deeds. I've found there are two motivating factors with my kids. One is the encouraging words of their mother as they do something good, the other is the firm guidance of their mother's hand on their bottom when they do something bad. Its important to have both encouragement and punishment, as both work to shape our children to become good children and later good adults.

My Political Views

Someone who saw my blog e-mailed me asking me about my political views. I think this is a fair thing to ask. I think everyone should have views. My views are rooted in the Bible, and when the issue cannot be found in the Bible, I use the Bible's teaching to assume what the Bible would have said about it. So, here are the issues that person sent:

Abortion: This is a big issue today. The very word makes many people uncomfortable. I think it makes people for abortion uncomfortable because they feel they are having to defend themselves from an unholy act, and those that support it feel that they are being seen as condemning. My personal opinion is that I am against abortion. I feel that it is not fair to terminate the future life of a person for any reason. The only reason for abortion would be medical, which, as I understand, rarely occurs. But I feel that if a parent does not want the child (as that woman my ex-husband had an affair with), instead of abortion you should choose adoption. There are plenty of parents that are happy to take care of children that aren't theirs. I adopted Sasha and I could not have done otherwise looking back, knowing the blessing she has been. There are economic reasons for abortion, but adoption is an option (and often times the person giving up the child receives financial compensation that can be used to help their condition- and especially if they have other children, this can be a good solution). Is it a woman's right to abort? I am a woman and I feel that my husband (if I had one still) has the same ownership of the child as I would. It is a woman's body, but the husband is part of the child. And I also believe it is a child at the moment of conception.

War: Well, for the idea of war, I simply point to the Old Testament. Much of the Old Testament involves violence and war. God typically destroys his enemies through Israel. And God's enemies were always evil (God calls them "wicked"). I see terrorism as wicked. I think God would want us to destroy terrorists. Am I saying that the War in Iraq is God's will? I can't say either way. I can say that if the motives for war are consistent with God's teaching, then that war is justifiable. But I would even venture to say that God is using terrorism. God does not approve of it, but like all things, He can use it. In the Old Testament, if Israel disobeyed and turned away from God, then the nation was often attacked by enemy nations. Could America, who is not exactly pro-God, be in the midst of God's punishment? Again, I can't speak for God, but you see my logic. I think that God can use war. I don't think both sides in a war are right all the time. We may be wrong in this war, I'm not sure. But overall I feel that we are attacking a nation that suppresses people, especially women, attacks innocent people, and is an enemy of Christianity. Should we destroy all enemies of God? In the Old Testament, that was how they did it. Now we use the power of Jesus to convert them through love. But still, I think that sometimes love is just not enough for protecting innocent people.

Gay Marriage: First of all, I believe that homosexuality is sinful. I don't think that feeling homosexual feelings is necessarily a sin, although homosexuality is a result of sin, but acting in homosexuality is detestable to God, as it says in the Bible. Even in the New Testament, Paul writes that homosexual acts are wrong. So I think that the act of getting married is a strong homosexual act, and I think it is wrong. It acts like homosexuality is not a moral issue, even though it is. It makes marriage less sacred. Being a divorcee, I feel bad for what happened. But my husband's sin broke the sanctity of our marriage, so I felt it was justified. But if that sin could not keep our marriage together, how can homosexuality keep their marriage together?

Universal Medical Care: I actually hope that my medical care is free. I am getting older and know that I may need lots of medical care soon. Of course, this is a bit selfish to support a view. I really am not sure. I don't know enough about economics to have an opinion. I think that we should work for our medical care, as laziness is sinful according to Proverbs. So if univesal medical care is to allow laziness (I hear that socialist societies tend to be lazy) then I am against it.

Church and State: I think its sad that our government is afraid to acknowledge the existence of God. Our nation was founded with God being a figure in the formation of the government. I think we need to celebrate the fact that Christianity is such a major thread in the fabric of our nation. I think that prayer in public school should be allowed, but not necessarily required (I think if the teacher or principal wants to pray that should be fine). Pushing religion on people is not wrong. Saying that it is wrong is pushing religion on people, the religion of not having religion. 

Chores and Allowance

Chores. Something all people hate, me included. I hate cleaning up the kitchen, vacuuming the carpet, picking up after my kids. I hate taking care of my front yard. I hate everything that requires work. So do most people. But I've learned that work leads to reward. Even if the reward is not physical, it makes you feel like you have accomplished something.

So I decided that I want my kids to begin learning the value of working. Lots of parents have a list of chores that their children are required to do. Some parents reward their children for doing all the chores, with things like money. Other parents punish their children for not completing the chores. I think both of these have their values. On one hand, rewarding children for doing a job will teach them that if they work diligently, they will gain things they need or things they want. In their future, it will be a paycheck or a bonus or a number of things. The parents that punish their kids also teach them a valuable lesson. If you do not do the work you are required to do, bad things will happen. This is true in life, unfortunately. If you don't do your job, you will get fired. If you do not work, you will starve. So, punishing a child for not doing their required work will teach them the impact of consequences. Both sides teach good things.

I decided to go for both sides. I like teaching about reward, but I did not want to ignore the idea of consequence. Life contains both. They are two sides of the same coin. I have two sets of chores. One set are very simple chores, like making their bed, brushing their teeth, picking up after themselves (toys, schoolwork, clothes, and dishes washed off and in the sink), doing their required schoolwork (unless I wave it off- laziness is not an excuse, but not understanding is). These chores are easy and all good habits. Generally, my kids all do these chores all the time and I do not tend to have a big problem with them not doing these. Usually I'll remind them or warn them if they are not doing these. In the event that they choose not to do these simple chores (usually its more of an act of rebellion than it is forgetfulness, although laziness is a factor too- something I am against), then I will punish them, typically with a spanking. Its not me going "oh, I see a shirt on the floor, you earned a spanking," its almost always "you chose to disobey and not pick up your shirt even though I told you about it earlier, and you need to be spanked for it." Punishment is a motivator and a consequence at the same time in these cases. There was a case where my daughter Paige did not realize she had some toys left on the floor from earlier, since we had to leave in a hurry for something. I did not punish her for that, since it was an honest mistake. Its rare that I ever have to punish my children for these chores.

On the other side of things, I reward my children for certain chores. These chores are typically harder and out of the ordinary. These chores include doing laundry, mowing the lawn, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning their room, and various other chores I come up with on the spot. Doing these chores earns them money they can use on candy or toys. Typically, I give them a dollar for doing a chore. They can do multiple chores in a week and earn extra money, although I have a limit of three dollars (as I'm not made of money!). My children typically don't like doing these chores, although sometimes they will, especially when they want something and I tell them they have to work for it. But when I hand them that dollar, they are very happy. In fact, the other day, my daughter Paige was angry that it was raining and she could not mow the lawn. I thought it was cute, how she wanted to work and was getting angry when she could not.

I also have a chore chart. It is not a very elaborate one. It basically lists the chores they HAVE TO do, and the chores they CAN do. I've seen some parents who have the squares that they mark each day. I think that is smart. Unfortunately, I also find it exhausting. I just have the chart as a reminder, but honestly, my kids are in the habit of doing everything. But it never hurts to have a reminder. 

I don't know how much we should pay our children. My children are young, so a dollar seems like a lot to them. For older kids you obviously need to raise it a little. I don't give allowance, I don't believe in it. But I give rewards, like paychecks. I don't think children should expect money, but they should expect that if they want money, they need to work for it.

Educating Our Children

Education, something all parents stress about. As a mother, I want my three daughters to have the best education possible. But to me, education is not just about learning about science, or math, or English. Education is learning about life. Sure, science and math are part of life, but its not all of life. What I am talking about is Christian education to go along with the other education. 

Here is the problem. Public schools, while useful in educating children, are harmful because they leave out religion. I know what they are saying when they say it would not be fair to teach the Bible because of families who do not believe the Bible (pray for those families), and I would not approve of teaching every religion in schools (like Islam, Buddhism, etc.), but I think its wrong that they see Christianity as a crime. Prayer in public schools is not only frowned upon, it is strictly prohibited. Teachers are told to teach students that every belief, as long as its the child's own, is good. But there needs to be teachers out there teaching children about the Bible and teaching them that life is about both knowledge and the spirit. 

So we look to private schools. I am a fan of private schools and I think they are terrific. I have lots of friends who send their children to private schools. Those schools teach Christianity, having specific Bible classes. Prayer is utilized in the classroom. Children are taught along with the Christian worldview. Not only that, but the discipline of those schools are top notch. Children grow up in the classrooms that stress the importance of obedience and respect. Children in public schools, while having generally the same rules, have a different atmosphere. They are taught that any behavior that harms another person is wrong. But there is no acknowledgment of morality. This I think is wrong. Morality is a huge part of society, any society. Morality is being taught to children in public schools- there is no standard for morality except that standard which respects your fellow humans. I think this is good, but it is not enough. 

Plus, the peers of children are one of the most important things. Many of the children in public schools do not have a good Christian background. Their sense of right and wrong, their sense of life, can be influential and destructive to your own child. Private schools have very similar peers, with the "bad ones" being in the far minority. So when your child makes a friend, you can bet that that friend is being raised in a Christian family. This makes a safe environment, one that children can grow in.

Unfortunately, I just cannot afford a private school. Being a single mother of three daughters, private school is not really an option. So I decided to homeschool. I was nervous at first, not knowing if I would be able to teach. But once I began, I noticed that teaching came naturally. I think any mother can teach. I think being a mother builds in a sense of educating your child. Whether its teaching your child how to behave, about objects, about people, whatever; raising a child is a teaching process. So when you use textbooks, you basically go through them yourself, teaching them to your children. I found there are tons of homeschooling programs out there too that aid in your curriculum. I use very basic ones at the moment, with my Sasha and Paige being on the 5th grade curriculum. But I'm sure once it starts getting really advanced I will get extra help!

The next thing I was worried about was controlling my kids. Discipline is a difficult thing for any teacher, I think. Its hard to make children want to learn. I don't know how public school teachers do it. From what I've heard, there are a lot of disinterested children in the classrooms, and the teachers have to try to influence them to attempt to learn. In private schools, education is revered more, so the students tend to try harder. Plus, the parents of private school children expect their children to learn and do well, as they are paying money for them to attend the school. As a homeschooling mom, I wasn't sure how to motivate my children. But God blessed me with three smart girls. My children generally enjoy their schoolwork. I work hard to be an encouragement, and to always be positive when it comes to schoolwork. If they do a good job, I compliment them. If they are having trouble understanding, I tell them its okay and work with them to help correct whatever problem they are having learning the material. And with behavior, you do not want children getting distracted from schoolwork, or misbehaving. Both public and private schools have detentions for that, which seem to work very well from what I hear. However, a lot of parents of public school children do not correct their children at home, from what I understand. If parents do not seem to care that their children got a detention, why should their children care? In private schools kids behave because they know that, besides their teachers giving them a detention, they will be corrected at home. This could be nothing more than a parent talking to them about a detention. I think that reinforces the idea that detentions are bad, and not a "not a big deal" but rather "a big deal." One mother I know sees detentions as defiance and teachers her children that getting a teacher is dishonoring to both the teachers and the parents. So, when her children get a detention, they get punished when they get home with a spanking. Her children never get detentions, she tells me. Now, of course, Christian parents can stress this in public schools as well, but like I said earlier, their peers may not have similar parents. As for my kids, its simple. Since they are at home, they are under the same rules as home. They need to respect and honor me as their parent, they need to obey, they need to respect their sisters, and they need to follow all the rules I have for behavior conduct. I don't change anything. If they refuse to do schoolwork, they are not doing bad in school, they are disobeying me as their parent. And they know what happens when they disobey. 

As part of my curriculum, I include Bible teaching. I found this great book that is meant for Sunday school teachers. I use that to teach my kids. Each week is a lesson from the book. I go over the lesson each day, backing it up with different Bible verses. I have my kids pick a verse that I give them to memorize. If they memorize two verses they get a reward (ice cream on Friday). I think that teaching the Bible is very important in childhood, because, if for some reason they stop going to church or reading the Bible as adults (something I don't advise anyone to do), they will still have what they were taught as children in the recesses of their minds. And I think that the Bible is a strong basis for morality and ultimately, making good decisions in life.

My Book

I figure since I claim to be writing a novel I might as well talk about it. Well, its still in the works, I am not happy with it at the moment so I am re-writing parts of it. Basically, I am going with the theme of seeing things in a new light, much like a Christian conversion. The story follows a woman named Gloria, who was born blind. The story follows several events in her childhood. For example, there is an event where Gloria is introduced to flowers and she loves the smell. She decides she wants to be a florist when she grows up. Another event is her listening to the 4th of July fireworks and loving the sounds. In most of the events, I emphasize the other senses, which normal people do not focus on in these events, as they are secondary. Gloria grows up. Then, while attending a church service, she is miraculously healed, getting her sight for the first time. Here is the excerpt (so far) of that scene:

"Gloria arose from her knees as the congregation began to scurry about as the pastor had ended the service. As Gloria stood, something entered her eyelids. Light. Gloria, caught off guard at the new situation, stumbled back into her family, who were waiting for her to finish her weekly Sunday prayer. 'What's wrong?' Gloria's mother asked. Gloria, not answering, rubbed her eyes. She spun about, gazing at the floor, then the pews, then the large cross perched on the wall in the front of the room. 'Something is weird, mom.'"

Gloria ends up learning that what she is experiencing is sight. She returns to her job as a florist and for the first time gazes at all her beautiful flowers. She experiences the fireworks of the 4th of July. Gloria learns of all the beautiful things in the world she had not been aware of her whole life. She feels like a new woman.

This is the summary of my story. I am working on the poetic part of the writing, which can be frustrating at times. I just can't seem to write like I used to when I was younger. But I enjoy what I do. I enjoy the attempt, and I know that whatever I end up writing I will be proud of. I encourage anyone out there who has something inspirational to let it out in some way. If you are a musician, write a song. If you are writer, write about it. If you are a painter, paint it. Even if it is not "commercial" (not what I'm going for, but will be happy if it ends up being so), it does not matter. You contributed to the inspiration of the world, and we all know how much this world can use inspiration.