Chores and Allowance

Chores. Something all people hate, me included. I hate cleaning up the kitchen, vacuuming the carpet, picking up after my kids. I hate taking care of my front yard. I hate everything that requires work. So do most people. But I've learned that work leads to reward. Even if the reward is not physical, it makes you feel like you have accomplished something.

So I decided that I want my kids to begin learning the value of working. Lots of parents have a list of chores that their children are required to do. Some parents reward their children for doing all the chores, with things like money. Other parents punish their children for not completing the chores. I think both of these have their values. On one hand, rewarding children for doing a job will teach them that if they work diligently, they will gain things they need or things they want. In their future, it will be a paycheck or a bonus or a number of things. The parents that punish their kids also teach them a valuable lesson. If you do not do the work you are required to do, bad things will happen. This is true in life, unfortunately. If you don't do your job, you will get fired. If you do not work, you will starve. So, punishing a child for not doing their required work will teach them the impact of consequences. Both sides teach good things.

I decided to go for both sides. I like teaching about reward, but I did not want to ignore the idea of consequence. Life contains both. They are two sides of the same coin. I have two sets of chores. One set are very simple chores, like making their bed, brushing their teeth, picking up after themselves (toys, schoolwork, clothes, and dishes washed off and in the sink), doing their required schoolwork (unless I wave it off- laziness is not an excuse, but not understanding is). These chores are easy and all good habits. Generally, my kids all do these chores all the time and I do not tend to have a big problem with them not doing these. Usually I'll remind them or warn them if they are not doing these. In the event that they choose not to do these simple chores (usually its more of an act of rebellion than it is forgetfulness, although laziness is a factor too- something I am against), then I will punish them, typically with a spanking. Its not me going "oh, I see a shirt on the floor, you earned a spanking," its almost always "you chose to disobey and not pick up your shirt even though I told you about it earlier, and you need to be spanked for it." Punishment is a motivator and a consequence at the same time in these cases. There was a case where my daughter Paige did not realize she had some toys left on the floor from earlier, since we had to leave in a hurry for something. I did not punish her for that, since it was an honest mistake. Its rare that I ever have to punish my children for these chores.

On the other side of things, I reward my children for certain chores. These chores are typically harder and out of the ordinary. These chores include doing laundry, mowing the lawn, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning their room, and various other chores I come up with on the spot. Doing these chores earns them money they can use on candy or toys. Typically, I give them a dollar for doing a chore. They can do multiple chores in a week and earn extra money, although I have a limit of three dollars (as I'm not made of money!). My children typically don't like doing these chores, although sometimes they will, especially when they want something and I tell them they have to work for it. But when I hand them that dollar, they are very happy. In fact, the other day, my daughter Paige was angry that it was raining and she could not mow the lawn. I thought it was cute, how she wanted to work and was getting angry when she could not.

I also have a chore chart. It is not a very elaborate one. It basically lists the chores they HAVE TO do, and the chores they CAN do. I've seen some parents who have the squares that they mark each day. I think that is smart. Unfortunately, I also find it exhausting. I just have the chart as a reminder, but honestly, my kids are in the habit of doing everything. But it never hurts to have a reminder. 

I don't know how much we should pay our children. My children are young, so a dollar seems like a lot to them. For older kids you obviously need to raise it a little. I don't give allowance, I don't believe in it. But I give rewards, like paychecks. I don't think children should expect money, but they should expect that if they want money, they need to work for it.